Previously On
Previously On is the fifth episode of Red vs. Blue: Season 15. It aired on April 30, 2017 for FIRST members and May 7, 2017 for the general public. It is the 308th episode overall. Characters Interstellar Daily *Dylan Andrews *Jax Jonez Reds and Blues *Caboose *Carolina *Donut *Freckles *Grif *Lopez *Sarge *Simmons *Tucker *Washington *Alpha (Hologram) *Epsilon (Mentioned only) Charon Industries *Malcolm Hargrove (Mentioned only) Chorus *Kimball (Mentioned only) Others *Blues and Reds (Mentioned only) Plot Dylan and Jax come running towards a makeshift base in the middle of a valley, looking for help after Dylan accidentally caused Caboose to fall off a cliff in the previous episode. What she finds is utter chaos: Sarge is zooming around in a warthog, supposedly preparing for battle; Simmons is zipping around at lightning speed shouting nonsense; Tucker and Grif are arguing over pun names for a band using the terms "Red" (Grif's inclination) or "Blue" (Tucker's); Donut is naked; Sarge crashes a warthog; and Caboose turns out to be fine. The reporters are then confronted by Agents Washington and Carolina. Dylan explains their situation, which catches the Reds and Blues' attention. Meeting inside the base, the Reds and Blues catch the reporters up to speed on what they did after Chorus. After Hargrove's capture, the crew activated the Temple of Procreation (resulting in Grif and Simmons apparently doing some things in a storage closet). Afterwards, the crew then decided to take a break, resulting in Kimball setting them up on the moon and building them new bases to reside in, only for Donut to burn them down. Sarge gets hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on Chorus and spends much of his time finding something to attack. Carolina also becomes restless from inaction and tries to consult Grif on how to be lazy. Caboose befriends the island's native dinosaurs and somehow ends up in another dimension. Grif started eating the planet's native plants, resulting in him discovering some mushrooms laced with material similar to methamphetamines, but far stronger ("like meth, on meth!") Simmons learned Esperanto, not knowing it wasn't Spanish. Freckles got a new body, which is hopelessly small. Looking for money to build new bases, they sold their movie rights to Hollywood and built "the galaxy's greatest water park," only for Donut to burn it down as well. Tucker, Caboose, Grif, and Carolina formed a band, though the rest of the group's stunted compliments of her singing imply she is tone-deaf. Sarge built an evil robot army to fight, but they malfunctioned and attacked the dinosaurs. Grif somehow convinced Simmons that Game of Thrones really happened. Sarge finds a new enemy in gravity (the physical force), resulting in him crashing the warthog when he tried to drive it off a cliff. The Reds and Blues tried to establish a new form of government, eventually deciding on malarkey (which is not a government but meaningless talk and nonsense, but is chosen when they realize it describes their situation). They found Donut "dead" and buried him, only to realize it was just his armor and he had gone skinny-dipping, resulting in him running around nude. Wash grew a beard, Grif spiked Simmons's food with the meth mushrooms, Sarge crashed the warthog, and Grif and Tucker were still arguing about the band name just as Dylan and Jax arrived. As a result, the Reds and Blues are back to where they started: instead of peaceful retirement, it is essentially a bunch of idiots in a canyon up to their usual antics. Dylan then asks about what happened on the Staff of Charon, whereupon the mood turns somber. They explain that Church sacrificed himself so they could win the fight. Dylan explains the situation with the impostors, as well as her discovery that every surviving former Project Freelancer agent has gone missing, alarming Wash and Carolina. Dylan then delivers Kimball's message: a scattered image of Church begging for help... Transcript We open up on several overhead shots of a large valley. There are signs of civilization: the foundations of buildings, a beach umbrella, and, notably, a makeshift base at the center. DYLAN and JAX are walking towards the base. Dylan: Hello? Somebody! Anybody! Sarge: (offscreen) Move it! Move it! Dylan: Hey, slow down! I need to get— SARGE comes zooming by in a Warthog. Sarge: No can do! I'm late for battle! DYLAN and JAX turn and stare off in his direction, startled. Dylan: Was that...Sarge? SIMMONS comes zipping by really fast. Simmons: (unintelligible Esperanto) Dylan: And Simmons? TUCKER appears at the top of the base. Tucker: Yo, Grif! What about the Blue Goo Dolls? GRIF runs into the shot right next to DYLAN. Grif: No! Red Zeppelin! Tucker: The Blue Fighters! Grif: Uh, the Grateful Red! Tucker: Oh god, no! Screw you! TUCKER disappears behind the base. Dylan: (disbelief) You're Grif! Grif, can you help us? Grif: (laughing, then blunt) Who the hell are you? Dylan: Dylan Andrews, Interstellar— Grif: Whoa, hold up—I just realized how much I don't care. Dylan: Th—Captain Caboose, he fell off a cliff. I think he's dead. Grif: Whoa, you killed Caboose? Good job! Can you kill Sarge next—ooh, wait, no! Donut, THEN Sarge! SIMMONS comes running by again. Simmons: Ihaven'tbeenthishypersinceIhadamargarita! Donut: (offscreen, voice unfiltered) Anyone seen my tanning oil? Grif: Jesus Donut, we have guests! Put some clothes on, for pete's sake! TUCKER appears again. Tucker: Oh, Blue-Tang Clan! Grif: The Red Kennedys! There is a loud whistling sound, as though something is falling from a great height. Sarge: (falling with it) SUCK IT NEWTON! The Warthog falls from the sky and hits the ground in a giant explosion. Jax: Oh ho ho, pyrotechnics! Sarge: Damn! Foiled again! Dylan: LISTEN, EVERYONE! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE ALL DOING, BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW YOUR MAN CABOOSE IS TERRIBLY INJURED, AND POSSIBLY DEAD! Caboose: (offscreen) Oh no! Not Caboose! CABOOSE, alive and well, appears next to DYLAN and JAX, startling them. Caboose: We need to go rescue him! Dylan: (bewildered) Y—you're okay? Caboose: Oh, pft, yeah. Y'know, I fell down and stuff, but y'know I landed on my head and that's okay because that's the part that's most used to it, so yeah I'm fine, things are good now, yeah I'm gonna go lay down. CABOOSE runs off. We hear rifles being loaded. Washington: (offscreen) Now would be a great time to start explaining yourself, ma'am. WASHINGTON and CAROLINA are aiming their rifles at DYLAN and JAX. Carolina: You can start with who you are and what you're doing here. Dylan: Washington and Carolina? You're alive! Washington: Don't sound so surprised. I believe Carolina asked some questions, ma'am. Dylan: Of course. Dylan Andrews, Interstellar Daily. I'm doing a story about the attacks perpetrated by the Reds and Blues since Chorus— TUCKER walks up. Tucker: '''Attacks? '''Dylan: —and the disappearances of the ex-Freelancer agents, as well. Carolina: Which Freelancers are missing? Dylan: All of them. Look, I've been searching for you for a very long time! Carolina: Well, congratulations Ms. Andrews... A shot of the surviving Blood Gulch Crew in formation, from left to right: CABOOSE, TUCKER, WASHINGTON, CAROLINA, SARGE, GRIF, and SIMMONS. Carolina: ...you found us. We move to inside the base, with everyone gathered around a table, looking at DYLAN and JAX. Washington: Why don't we start with these attacks? Dylan: No. We came halfway across the galaxy, sacrificed our careers, and risked both life and limb for answers. So we start with my questions, or we walk. WASHINGTON and CAROLINA look at each other. Washington: ...what exactly do you wanna know? Dylan: Simple: what have you all been doing since Chorus? Grif: (groaning) Lots of bullshit, I don't even know where to start. Tucker: Before or after the temple? If it's before, this is gonna get NSFW real quick. Dylan: "Temple"? Tucker: Ho yeah! After we captured Hargrove, we partied fucking hard! See, Chorus has this ancient relic called the Temple of Procreation that when activated makes— Simmons and Grif: WE SAID WE WOULDN'T TALK ABOUT THAT! They quickly look at each other and quickly look away, embarrassed. Sarge: It was all like a planet-wide aphrodisiac! Things got real Bohemian! (knowingly) Mm-hmm! Tucker: Yeah, y'all keep saying that! But everything felt normal to me! Washington: Surprising no one. GRIF is still looking away from SIMMONS. Simmons: Can we—can we change the subject? Caboose: (to Dylan) Oh, they're just upset because they got locked in a storage closet during the whole thing. Grif: THE SUBJECT. CHANGE IT. Washington: To actually answer your question, after the war on Chorus we decided we were due some time off. Tucker: We've earned some R&R. Even Carolina agreed! Carolina: I thought I'd give the simple life a day in court... Grif: No more adventures? Hell yeah I was on board! Simmons: Kimball set us up on this isolated moon, and she built us some of the most awesome new bases ever! Shot of the new Reds and Blues bases, which look like luxury condos. Tucker: Everyone adjusted to the peace and quiet different. Some of us were naturals. Grif: Don't hate the player. Simmons: Sarge got hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on Chorus! Sarge: Hogwash! Baseless slander! Simmons: But you said— Cut to the Red Team, including LOPEZ, outside their new base. SARGE walks up. Sarge: 'I am hopelessly depressed after not dying heroically on Chorus! We need a new enemy! ''Hearing this, the Red Team quickly scatter. '''Sarge: Something to fight...where are y'all going? Back in the base, TUCKER looks at CAROLINA. Tucker: Sarge wasn't the only one having a hard time adjusting to inaction. Everyone looks at CAROLINA. Carolina: What?! Washington: Fortunately, we found a tutor. Cut to CAROLINA and GRIF in a small ravine, GRIF sitting cross-legged on the ground and CAROLINA standing up, looking to him as though he were a wise master. Or Yoda, maybe. Carolina: (dead serious) Help me, Grif. Help me be the best at being lazy. Grif: (wise and mysterious) You're not ready, padawan. Carolina: I can try! Grif: No. There is no try. Tucker: ''(narrator) The peaceful times didn't last ''too long. Turns out this planet has some native lifeforms! Loud thumping as SIMMONS, TUCKER, and GRIF run across the scene. We hear the sound of a dinosaur roaring. Simmons: AAAAHHH, RUUUUN! Grif: I CAN'T DIE AS FOOD! OH, THE IRONY! Carolina: (narrator) While everyone debated if dying as food was technically ironic, Caboose went and made friends with the dinosaurs. Grif: (narrator) ''Because ''of course he did. CAROLINA, TUCKER, GRIF, and SARGE are staring up in awe at the camera, while we see the shadow of a dinosaur with a Caboose-sized figure on its head. Caboose: Aw, who's a good boy? Aw, you are, good boy! Tucker: Caboose, get down! Sarge: Tell him to fight me! Grif: ''(narrator)'' AND THEN DONUT SOMEHOW MANAGED TO BURN DOWN OUR BASES! Donut standing in the foreground, while the bases burn in the background. Donut: Whoopsy-daisy! Grif: (narrator) ''Oh-ho, why, oh-why-oh-why?! '''Donut:' (offscreen, still unfiltered) I told you! It was a simple mishap with my vanilla-satin scented candles! Sheesh! Tucker: DONUT! CLOTHES! Donut: Party pooper! Jax: Why is he naked? Dylan: THAT'S your first question? Simmons: We lost eighty-percent of our rations in the fire, so fat-ass (looks at Grif) ''over here started going around and eating native plants! ''GRIF approaches some wild mushrooms that glow a mysterious blue color. Grif: Oh, hey there, sexy. Simmons: (narrator) ''Oh, and as it turns out? The mushrooms are basically crystal meth 'on crystal meth!' ''Cut to GRIF running by, in order, Sarge fighting a tree, Carolina fixing a Warthog, and Simmons going for a walk. Grif: (super fast) Heyhohowyadoin'goodokay I'mgonnagoforarun alotofpeoplesayI'mnotfast butI'msuperfast ''don'ttellanyybodythoughit'soursecret okaybye! ''Back to the base. Grif: Yeah? Well at least I didn't spend my summer learning Esperanto! Simmons: (ashamed) I thought "Esperanto" was Spanish for "Spanish." Tucker: And now you're the only one in the universe who speaks a dead language! How appropriate! Simmons: (sighing) Ay estas tu el soul.(I'm so alone.) Caboose: And Freckles got a new body! He can use any bathroom he wants now! FRECKLES walks threateningly into the scene. We then cut to a wide shot to reveal he's hopelessly small, with CABOOSE and TUCKER looking at him. Freckles: (like a chipmunk) Prepare to be exterminated! He shoots CABOOSE. CABOOSE dramatically falls. Caboose: GAGH! Tucker, you're supposed to be playing dead. Tucker: (leaving) Right... Back to the base. Tucker: That's right around when we tried to raise some money for new bases by selling off our movie rights! Grif: Hollywood really screwed the pooch on that one. Simmons: Oh, we were rich! Grif: And then we realized water parks were way more awesome than bases! Carolina: So we built the galaxy's greatest...water park. Cut to the water park. TUCKER, CABOOSE, SIMMONS, SARGE, GRIF, DONUT, '''and' WASHINGTON all jump in the air with joy. CAROLINA refrains.'' Them: Yay! Carolina: (with disinterest) Yay. Grif: AND THEN DONUT— Mirroring the shot from before, DONUT is in the foreground as the water park burns in the background. Donut: Whoopsy-daisy! Grif: I MEAN HOW DO YOU BURN DOWN A WATER PARK, DONUT?! DONUT walks in, now wearing his armor. Donut: 1) Lube isn't normally flammable! And B) I didn't burn down the whole water park! Just the park part! Caboose: And then we formed the best band ever! Washington: Tucker thought it might attract...chicks. Tucker: Which worked. Cut to GRIF and TUCKER arguing over the name, with CABOOSE watching. Grif: The Talking Reds! Tucker: Mötley Blüe! Grif: How about redmau5? Carolina: Hey, I heard you boys are looking for a singer. Tucker: Uh, yeah! Chick singers are awesome! Grif: Can you sing, though? Carolina: (confident) Can I sing? Cut to the base. Tucker: (unconvincingly) Carolina sings. So good. Carolina: Thank you. Simmons: Oh, and we're definitely not just saying that because she could kill us. Grif: (strained) So. Good. Simmons: Sarge decided to make his own enemy, so he built an evil robot army to invade our valley! Tucker: But the robots malfunctioned and attacked the dinosaurs! Cut to the Reds and Blues watching an enormous battle happening offscreen. We get explosions and roars and some flashes of red light, plus a black plume of smoke coming in from off-camera. Washington: I have seen some amazing things in my life, but this...this takes the cake. Back to the base. Carolina: (snickering) And then Grif convinced Simmons Game of Thrones really happened. GRIF and SIMMONS are standing on top of the base, mirroring their positions in the first episode. Simmons: Nuh-uh. Grif: Uh-huh. Simmons: Oh, shut up! Grif: Seriously, dude! Simmons: Nah, nah, no way! Grif: Yeah, way. Simmons: Dude. Grif: Dude. Simmons: Dude! Grif: Dude. Simmons: Dude! Grif: Yeah, dude. Simmons: That's awesome! Man, I'm gonna go visit! Simmons: (narrator) Sarge found a new enemy! One that would keep him busy for the rest of our time here. The Reds are gathered outside the new base, watching as SARGE walks on camera again. Sarge: For far too long our people have been oppressed, crushed, under the weight of our selves! If we don't start standing up to our mortal foe gravity, by god who will? WASHINGTON and CAROLINA are watching nearby. Carolina: Are we really going to let this play out? Washington: Why not see where it goes? LOPEZ is in the Warthog, SARGE nearby. Sarge: Buckle up, friendo! It's time we take this fight to the enemy! Lopez: Por favor no. (Please no.) The Warthog goes flying off a cliff. Sarge: Chaaaarge! Quick cut to the base. Simmons: But that just meant Blue Team had one more jeep than Red Team. Back to outside the base: DONUT, GRIF, and SIMMONS are standing there, while the Warthog is on fire in the background. Sarge: Gentlemen, we simply cannot let Blue Team have tactical superiority over the canyon! This means war! Red. VS. '''BLUE!' '''Lopez:' (offscreen) ''Mierda... (Shit...) ''Back to the base. Tucker: That helped us realize just how outdated this whole Red Team-Blue Team thing really is. Simmons: So we had a meeting to debate a new form of government. The REDS and BLUES are facing each other outside their base, CAROLINA having joined the Blues this time. Grif: I vote anarchy. Simmons: You can't vote anarchy, you dumbass! Tucker: Monarchy! Whoever holds the magical sword, (draws his sword) Excalibur! Caboose: Party Paryarchy! Sarge: Military Dictatorship! Carolina: Matriarchy. Caboose: Oh! How about malarkey? Simmons: Caboose, that's not a type of government! It just means meaningless talk and nonsense! Long silence. Washington: (back at the base) Malarkey won. Caboose: Ah, you haven't mentioned the dark place! Tucker: Oh yeah! Somehow Caboose got stuck in another dimension! CABOOSE is somehow in the Upside-Down from Netflix's ''Stranger Things.'' Caboose: Hello? Anyone there? THIS IS AWESOME! The Reds and Blues are staring at the alphabet Christmas lights from ''Stranger Things.'' Washington: "Neat." He just...keeps saying, "Neat." Back to the base. Tucker: Oh, and we found Donut dead! GRIF finds DONUT'S supposedly dead body lying next to a body of water. Grif: Sweet. SIMMONS, TUCKER, and GRIF are staring at a shallow grave. Grif: (voiceover) We decided to bury him in a shallow, unmarked grave. They look up, hearing DONUT offscreen. Donut: (offscreen, unfiltered) Aw, fiddlesticks! I can't find my suit! Grif: (narrator) ''Turns out he was just...''skinny-dipping. Donut: (offscreen, unfiltered, cont'd) Guess I'm going au natural! Nice and breezy! In the '''exact same shot from when they were running from the dinosaur', SIMMONS, TUCKER, and GRIF run from DONUT.'' Simmons: AAAAAHHHH, RUN! Grif: AH, THE IRONY! Back to the base. Carolina: But that wasn't even the weirdest thing that happened! Wash. Grew. '''A beard...' ''Cut to WASHINGTON standing outside. Of course, we can't see the beard because his helmet is on. Washington: It's kind of...itchy. Tucker: And then this morning Grif spiked Simmons's couscous with his meth-meth shrooms! Grif: You know, for the lulz. Cut to the shot from the opening, with GRIF talking to DYLAN as SIMMONS runs by. Simmons: I sentas hiper kai plenta de enegeria! Donut: (offscreen, voice unfiltered) Anyone seen my tanning oil? Grif: Jesus Donut, we have guests! Put some clothes on, for pete's sake! TUCKER appears again. Tucker: Oh ho, Blue-Tang Clan! Grif: The Red Kennedys! There is a loud whistling sound, as though something is falling from a great height. Sarge: (falling with it) SUCK IT NEWTON! We quickly cut back to GRIF before SARGE hits the ground. Grif: It's been awful! Instead of a peaceful retirement, it's been the same damn shit with the same damn idiots! DYLAN turns to JAX. Dylan: You got all that, right? Cut to JAX'S perspective. Jax: Yeah, definitely. A red dot appears onscreen as he starts recording. Apparently, he didn't get all that. Dylan: Well, it certainly sounds like you've been busy. Still my records, of your actions on Chorus end when you enter the Staff of Charon. I would love to know what happened next. Carolina: (sad) That's...a sensitive question. We lost a friend that day. "Contact" by Trocadero starts playing. Caboose: (sad) I miss Church. Dylan: You mean the Epsilon A.I. Tucker: (annoyed) No, he means Church. Washington: He gave everything to save us. Wasn't the first time, either. Tucker: It was so awesome for a while, there! He powered up my suit and I was like Neo in the goddamn Matrix! I was juggling these two guns and the sword! And dodging bullets! It was fucking amazing! And then it was all over. The music stops. Tucker: '''And...he was gone. The suit was useless. Empty. But...you know, we won. '''Dylan: I'm sorry. Washington: So...that's our story. What's yours? Dylan: Like I said outside. While you've been here a group of people that look a lot like you have been going around stealing, hijacking, and robbing the UNSC. While looking into that I discovered every former Freelancer has vanished. Washington: That's alarming. Carolina: That's an understatement. Dylan: And to top it off, most people think those impostors are working for Chorus! The UNSC is about ready to invade as a result! Grif: (annoyed) ''Is that why Kimball sent you? So that ''we can deal with them? Simmons: Yeah, she should know we're retired! Dylan: She actually sent me to deliver a message. She was pretty vague about it. Washington: Who's it from? DYLAN places a small portable holo-projector on the table and slides it to the center. Dylan: She didn't say. The projector turns on. In it we see the ghostly image of a familiar blue soldier in cobalt armor. His image is heavily damaged, and his voice is highly distorted. Church: This is Church from...static...''Alpha...static...if you're getting this, it's an emergency...(pants)...send help! Please! Send help! ''The message quickly cuts off. Everyone stares at it in shock. Grif: God-''fucking''-dammit. Gallery Coming soon... Trivia *It is revealed that Hargrove was arrested following the events of Season 13. *It is revealed that Tucker had activated the Temple of Procreation at the end of Season 13. *It is revealed that Freckles received a new body: an incredibly diminutive Mantis. *Doc was not shown with the rest of the Blood Gulch Crew leaving his current status unknown. **His fate would later be revealed in Rigged, where he says he moved in with the Blues and Reds. *Carolina and Grif's scene where the former requests the latter to teach her how to be lazy, is a reference to Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, where Luke Skywalker consults Yoda to teach him how to be a Jedi. The scene takes more references from Star Wars, when Grif tells Carolina, "There is no try.", a reference to Yoda's quote, "Do or do not. There is no try." *The offscreen argument about whether getting killed by a dinosaur is ironic is a reference to the long, similarly offscreen argument from K.I.T. B.F.F. *The mentioning of Sarge creating a robot army, might be a throwback to Defusing the Situation, where Lopez does the same. *The scene of Caboose in another dimension and the scene with the writing on the wall with Christmas lights is a reference to Stranger Things. *Tucker no longer possesses the Meta's armor. According to him, it stopped working after the battle with Hargrove. *Caboose's line "And Freckles got a new body! He can use any bathroom he wants now!" is a reference to the recent so-called "bathroom bills" at the forefront of transgender politics in America. *Joe Nicolosi revealed he had plenty of rejected ideas for the episode, such as everyone living in a different continent, or them still being in armor because of a nailgun Caboose found.https://youtu.be/vPPDHclgYA0?t=9m16s *All the band names Grif and Tucker make for their band are references to real life bands and artists including: The Blue Fighters (The Foo Fighters) The Grateful Reds (The Grateful Dead) The Blue Goo Dolls (The Goo Goo Dolls) Red Mouse (Deadmau5) Motley Blue (Motley Crue) The Talking Reds (The Talking Heads) Blue Tang Clan (Wu Tang Clan) The Red Kennedeys (The Dead Kennedeys) and Red Zeppelin (Led Zeppelin). Video Category:Episodes Category:Season 15